Fine, if you both know unequivocally that you want them, but what about couples who find themselves see-sawing on the decision, and even wondering whether to have kids at all? “Kim brought up the subject of having children about six months into our dating,” says Michael Civisca, a 41-year-old singer who lives with his new wife in Buffalo, New York. “Because of my career and exposure to every misbehaved child that ever existed in restaurants and candy aisles, I wasn’t in favor of it.”
Kim had always wanted kids, and “slowly Michael started saying he could see himself having them,” she recalls, “but he wanted us to be financially stable and have the time to devote to them.” Now Kim, a 36-year-old lawyer, is the one who is stalling: “I’m so wrapped up in building my business that I think I’d have a nervous breakdown if I became pregnant.” Michael expects they’ll try in a year or two. He prefers “visions of attending my child’s college graduation standing up, not sitting in a wheelchair.” But, he adds, “I’ve seen countless friends with children in two-career homes. It isn’t pretty, and neither are the parents