Reality Having sex early and often—about every other day from about four days before a woman thinks she’s going to ovulate until a day or so after—makes conception most likely. If you wait for a week, Dr. Copperman explains, “First of all, you’re going to have a whole bunch of old sperm there, rather than fresh sperm if the man had ejaculated a day or two before. Secondly, part of the time, you’re going to miss ovulation. Ideally, you really want the sperm there before the egg is released.” Sperm can survive for several days, while the egg loses viability quite rapidly, some estimate within 24 hours. While day 14 is the standard, the time of ovulation varies from woman to woman and sometimes from cycle to cycle. Charting temperature, noting cervical mucus changes, or using ovulation-predictor kits will help a woman become more familiar with her cycle and determine the best time to conceive.
III.
Misconception “Just relax and you’ll get pregnant.”
Reality There is no convincing scientific evidence to show that stress leads to infertility. Anyone struggling to conceive has probably been advised to “just relax,” by well-meaning friends and family. However, this suggestion has no basis in science and can be hurtful, as it implies that the woman’s actions or frame of mind are causing her infertility—that it’s her fault. “There really is no difference in fertility if the woman is extremely anxious, if she’s a trader on the stock exchange, or if she’s meditating in Tibet,” says Dr. Copperman. There is the same chance of an egg and sperm getting together, the same chance of a pregnancy ensuing, the same chance of a miscarriage.